DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY HAITIANESS!!

Last week I read an article in the Haitian Times titled; DOES HAITI VALUE ITS DIASPORA? The author, and Times founder, Garry Pierre-Pierre tweeted; Haiti the only country in the world to treat its diaspora with contempt. I've thought a lot about it since then. Having now lived in Haiti for close to a decade, I surely have my opinion.

Growing up Haitian, in New York, you really have to be toughed skinned. Those growing up in Brooklyn know exactly what I mean. I grew up in an era before Wyclef made it cool to be Haitian. At a time were many denied their Haitian heritage in fear of being singled out and bullied. In my house, we knew we were Haitian. I give thanks and praise to my mother for instilling a pride and a love for Haiti in her children.

Though we moved away from our Brooklyn neighborhood in my teens and I didn't grow up around many Haitians, I always identified myself as Haitian. As a child I would revolt in many different ways when teachers or friends tried to Americanize my Haitian last name. I would often say, “If people can say Schwarzenegger then they can say my name”.

I decide to move to Haiti right after the oust/kidnapping of Aristide in 2004. I was a consultant with a human rights group doing research in Haiti. After a few trips it was clear to me what I needed to do. I wanted to come back “home”. Like many diaspora, I wanted to do something and make a difference for my people. I didn't want to just watch from afar or send money or hold yet another fundraiser. I wanted to be here. I wanted to stand side by side with my brothers and sisters and help put Haiti back in its rightful place. To make everyone see the beauty of Haiti and of all her people the way I saw it.

Arriving to Haiti, I learned very quickly the real meaning of “diaspora”, or should I say the way those in Haiti define the word. I was shocked by the tone in which diaspora was hurled at me. Stunned by the giggles or outright laughter when an accent was detected as I said something in Kreyol. Traumatized every time someone told me I wasn't “really” Haitian. I got the “Why are American so arrogant” question so many times, I came up with a response that I thought would sting just as much. “Maybe because our money is good wherever we go”, I’d respond as pompously as possible.

I’m not saying I expected a parade, but I sure did not expect the disdain and the constant questioning of my Haitianess and my reasons for being here. Turns out those days in Brooklyn were just boot camp, Haiti was the real fight. I knew it would be an adjustment having never lived in Haiti before, but I didn't know the hardest part was going to come from “my people”. Yes we, the diaspora, have grown up and been educated in the states, but this doesn't make us better it just gives us something else we can bring to the table. What a force if only we could be united. Instead of seeing this as a plus, many people here see it as a threat and some have no problem expressing their dislike and distrust.

What is it about us as a people that make us want to put each other in a certain place?  Who came up with the titles/categories? Why does it concern others how people identify themselves?

I know Haitians who were born in Haiti and left as children and haven’t been back since. I also know of people who were not born in Haiti, but came here some 20 years ago and never left. Who is more “Haitian”?  What makes someone Haitian? Is it just their passport or birth certificate? I believe you can tell by a person’s heart. For to live in Haiti, you have to really love Haiti. I have seen and experienced more than many will ever know, but I am still here. Only I know what is in my heart and only the most high knows my destiny. What I do know is that I do not need the acceptance of the masses. I say who I am. I am Haiti and Haiti is me.

My journey